Christian Living Blog

Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer. Psalm 4:1

When discouragement breaks down our perspective and dismantles our defenses, it causes us to say and do things we would never consider saying or doing otherwise. Though we may have just completed great things for God, weary discouragement tells us we’re useless, hopeless, and abandoned.

Elijah felt that kind of discouragement. Having just won a mighty victory over the prophets of Baal (1 Kings 18), Elijah had been flying high. But when Jezebel took out a contract on Elijah’s life, the wicked queen’s haughty words brought the mighty prophet back to earth with a thud. Less than a day after holy fire fell from heaven—proving once and for all that God was God—Elijah was running for his life.

“Don’t you care?” Elijah asked God as he sat trembling under the broom tree in the desert. “I have had enough, Lord,” he whimpered in 1 Kings 19:4. “Take my life.” Just let me die.

Have you spent much time under the broom tree of self-pity? I have. It’s easy to find a shady spot and feel sorry for ourselves when we’re distracted and discouraged. Especially when we run up against unexpected opposition. Especially when it feels like we’re running for our lives.

In the dictionary you’ll find self-pity stuck between self-perpetuating and selfpollinating. I had to laugh when I saw it, because it’s so true. I happen to be an expert on the subject. Being quite the hostess myself, I throw pity parties fairly regularly. Trouble is, no one wants to come. Self-pity is a lonely occupation.
—Having a Mary Heart

Read: 1 Samuel 30:1–6

Reflect: Like Elijah, David faced a terrible, not-so-good day. Rather than giving into self-pity, what did David do?

Excerpted from At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver. Copyright © 2012 by Joanna Weaver. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Crystal Paine is the wife of Jesse and mommy to three little children (Kathrynne was born in 2005, Kaitlynn in 2007, and Silas, born in May of 2009). She is a homeschool graduate, and sister to six.

When Crystal is not homeschooling her daughters, bargain-shopping, or blogging, she enjoys tweaking recipes and baking big batches of things for the freezer, engaging in thought-provoking discussions, trying to keep up with politics, indulging in dark chocolate, drinking a hot cup of tea while reading a good book, or spending a quiet day at home with her family.

 Six Ways Moms Can Contribute to Their Family’s Finances
By Crystal Paine, author of The Money Saving Mom’s Budget

1) Set Up and Follow a Grocery Budget

It’s amazing what the simple act of creating and sticking with a grocery budget can do for your family’s finances. If you’ve never had a grocery budget before, I’d recommend going with a ballpark figure of $20 per person per week to start out with. Then, slowly work on lowering it by 1-3% each month.

Take your budgeted grocery amount out in cash at the beginning of each month and only bring that with you to the store (leave the debit card, credit card, and check book at home). This provides instant self-discipline because when the money’s gone, it’s gone.

2) Plan a Menu

A grocery budget is a wonderful thing, but it’s usually the menu plan that enables you to be successful at sticking with your grocery budget. Not only does having a plan and working the plan encourage you to make dinner instead of heading through the drive-thru lane or ordering pizza, but you can also plan inexpensive meals based upon what ingredients you already have on hand or are on sale at the store.

3) Use Your Freezer

Your freezer can become of your best money-saving friends. You can use it to store extra produce you got in season at a rock-bottom price, you can use it to store meat you purchased in bulk, and you can use it to keep freezer meals at-the-ready for last-minute dinners.

Many people are turned off by the thought of freezer cooking because they envision it entails mushy freezer-burnt casseroles. While casseroles are a quick and easy thing to make ahead and stick in your freezer, there are so many other non-casserole options when it comes to freezer cooking.

You can brown hamburger or bake and chop chicken and freeze it, you can put together baking mixes, you can make sauces and marinades to freeze, you can chop and freeze veggies for stir fries… the possibilities are near endless!

4) Stay Home More

There’s no arguing the fact that the less you shop, the less you buy. The more you can learn to enjoy and find productive ways to occupy your time at home, the more money you’ll save.

Being a one-car family for a few years taught me to appreciate and enjoy the quietness of just being home a lot. There’s so much you can learn and do–without ever leaving your doorstep!

Some ideas: Read good books, learn new skills, try your hand at new recipes and do-it-yourself ideas, follow a few blogs that inspire you, write handwritten cards of encouragement, get to know your neighbors, or invite people into your home for a Bible study or book club.

5) Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Want an almost fix for your discontentment? Stop comparing yourself to others around you.

You’ll always find someone who has a seeming better situation than you, but wishing you were them doesn’t change that you are you. The sooner you can embrace your lot in life–no matter the struggles–the sooner you’ll start experiencing true joy and contentment.

6) Choose Gratitude

Finally, adopt a thankful, grateful spirit for the life you are living. It might not be the life of your dreams, it might seem overwhelmingly hard right now, but a grateful spirit–even in the midst of hardship–can change your whole outlook on life. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for!

You can also enter to win a Free Copy of The Money Saving Mom’s Budget on Christianbook.com from April 30th – May 14th. To enter to win, click Here.

Since 2003, thousands of women have been directly impacted by Sandy’s marriage teachings, attending Beautiful Womanhood small groups led by marriage mentors, and applying The Beautiful Wife mentoring curriculum. This curriculum is a powerful resource praised by bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn as “an incredible handbook that every woman needs.”

Sandy and her husband Tom have been married since 1980 and live near Grand Rapids, Michigan.  They have three adult children and a growing number of grandchildren.  When not writing and speaking, Sandy enjoys shopping at yard sales for vintage clothing, cooking, travelling, and drinking really good coffee, (black is best) with her husband.

Power for a Breakthrough
by Sandy Ralya

At times, nothing short of a breakthrough was needed to supply me with much-needed hope to endure a difficult phase of life. Chances are you understand what I’m talking about.

When Tom and I found ourselves unable to get on the same page concerning issues that had plagued our marriage for years, fasting broke up the logjam of our disunity—and I’m not using the word logjam lightly here! Early in our marriage, my husband was egocentric and self-absorbed and I struggled with sexual abuse issues, both of which contributed to a messy marriage largely void of harmony. Believe me, I tried everything I could think of to regain unity with my husband, but not one log budged. Experts say the best way to break up a logjam is dynamite, and we needed the relational equivalent to break down our marital barriers. Fasting provided the explosive power we needed.

What is a fast? Before I describe what fasting is, I want to explain what it is not. Fasting is not going without food or particular foods for a certain length of time. That’s dieting. Fasting is removing food or a certain food or drink from your life for a spiritual purpose. During the fast, time is spent seeking God about your particular struggle(s).

When I was fasting for my marriage, I would:

• Read the Bible daily
• Sit quietly with a journal to capture any thoughts or impressions that came to my mind
• Thank God for all He’d done and was going to do for me
• Pray morning, noon, and night seeking God for the answers to my problems (even if 5 minutes)

Don’t allow your hectic schedule to stand between you and your breakthrough. We all have a choice when it comes to our extracurricular activities. If you have health issues which you think may prevent you from fasting, consult your doctor about foods that could be eliminated from your diet without experiencing any negative effects.  Whatever you choose to fast, select a food or beverage that you love to eat or drink—one which you turn to for comfort.  Every time you’re tempted to reach for that item, you’ll be reminded to spend time with God instead.  It may be difficult at first, but once you’ve tasted the comfort you receive from spending time with Jesus, you’ll become addicted!

While fasting, God speaks to me about me.  As I journal, He reveals His love for me as well as things about me that need to be changed or implemented in my life.  When I obey—when I do what I can do—God does what I cannot. He steps in and works change in me, as well as in the people and events that touch my life.  There have been times when I’m the only one who changes…but it’s enough to fill me with increased hope, strength and dignity which ultimately gives me the peace I crave.

Do you need a break-through?  Fasting will shatter your toughest obstacles.

Debora M. Coty is an inspirational humorist, popular speaker, and award-winning author of 13 books, including More Beauty, Less Beast: Transforming Your Inner Ogre, and Too Blessed to be Stressed.  Deb lives and loves in central Florida with her husband Chuck and her pooch Fenway.

The Annoyance of Forgiveness
by Debora M. Coty

Why on earth would that woman want a meeting with me? I hung up the phone, puzzled. Maureen had long been dissing me, ignoring my phone calls and e-mails, walking past me at church like I was invisible, snubbing invitations to my local book events and speaking engagements. She’d disagreed with nearly everything I said or did for the past ten years.

And now she wanted to take me to lunch? Go figure.

I felt completely justified arming my inner guard with an attitude Uzi as we sat across a cozy table from one another and ordered salads. I was prepared for her attack.

When the server left, Maureen took a sip of water and then, of all unexpected things, teared up. To my absolute flabbergastation, she confessed that she had treated me badly because as a wannabe author, she’d been jealous of my writing success.

Then the air was completely sucked out of my guts when she quietly added, “I’d like to ask for your forgiveness.”

What? I screamed inwardly. You want my forgiveness? Forget it, Sugar. You hurt my feelings so many times I’ve lost count. You don’t deserve forgiveness!

My knee-jerk reaction shocked me. Wasn’t I a Christ-follower? Didn’t Christ himself say, “Forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too”? (MARK 11:25, NLT).

But forgiveness doesn’t come naturally in our revenge-glorified world. Because it’s often impossible without the Holy Spirit’s intervention, and because we feed off the power of one-upping someone who did us wrong, forgiving and accepting forgiveness are unique qualities in today’s society. Even among Christians.

I was stunned to realize that I really didn’t want to forgive Maureen. I felt comfortable in my long-term grudge state and was actually annoyed that she threw this surprise twist in our relationship. But I was supposed to forgive her, wasn’t I? It was the Jesus thing to do. Even if I didn’t feel forgiveness in my heart, I could state it with my lips and pray that my heart would follow.

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that how we feel has nothing to do with forgiveness. We forgive as an act of the will, because God commands us to, not because of feelings. If we wait to feel like it, we’ll never forgive anybody.

The act of forgiveness enables God to perform a mysterious and profound work of grace in us. The healing process begins – first inwardly, in our own heart, then outwardly, in the broken relationship with our offender.  As we release others from the hurt they’ve caused us, our own hurt is released. Anger stops holding us prisoner. Resentment no longer corrodes our intimacy with God.

And you know what? After I forgave Maureen verbally that day, I eventually did feel that grudge boulder begin to crumble. It wasn’t overnight; it was a process, but crumble it did.

Are there any grudge boulders inside of you that need to be obliterated?

Babbie Mason is a Dove Award-winning and Grammy nominated gospel singer, songwriter, author, creator of the Embrace: A Worship Event for Women ministry, professor of songwriting at Atlanta Christian College and Lee University, and a television talk-show host. Recently she released her second book, Embraced by God: Celebrating Who and Whose You Are.

In this post she shares from her experience growing up as an African American girl, and the importance of telling your story, even when it’s a difficult one to share.

I LOVE TO TELL THE STORY
By Babbie Mason

During the month of February, as we pay particular attention to the contribution of African American people and their great accomplishments, I’m reminded once again of the importance of telling our story as Black people. I grew up near Detroit, Mich., and came of age during the volatile race riots and protests of the 1960s. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in the deep segregated South, and he remembers firsthand drinking from the “colored” water fountain and not being able to try on clothes in the department store downtown. We watch the documentaries that are shown on television, particularly at this time of year, and afterwards we are always compelled to tell our own stories. I want to share a little bit of my story in hopes that it will inspire you to tell your own.

Although I was very young during the decade of the 1960s, I remember very well the events that not only helped to define us as a people, those events defined us as a nation. As an elementary school student, I processed the assassinations of Dr. Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, and so many others who lost their lives during the Civil Rights Movement. I recall from time to time my mother’s painful reaction to the brutal murder of Emmett Till in 1955 and the four little girls who lost their lives in the Sixteenth Street Baptist Church bombing in 1963.

I even know personally, what it feels like to be on the receiving end of human cruelty.  I was a junior at a Christian liberal arts college in southern Michigan, not far from home. As the only Black member of my college choir, I remember when we were on choir tour in the mid ’70s.   We performed in a white church in Atlanta, Ga., one evening. After the concert we spent the night in the homes of church members who served as our hosts.  My roommate, a sweet white girl named Suzie, and I went to the home of our hosts, an elderly white couple. As we were getting ready for bed, Suzie came to me and revealed that she had just been asked if she minded sleeping in the same bed with a “(n-word) gal.”  After that, I found myself in a pit of hurt and confusion.  How could people be like that? How could people say they love God yet want nothing to do with me? Jesus had to meet me in the place where I was. I was deeply hurt, fighting mad, and greatly shocked and disappointed.  Jesus had to rescue me before my heart became bitter and filled with indifference. In desperation, I had to pray for deliverance before I became just like those who had wronged me.  I have long since forgiven those people, but I have to be honest with you.  I bear a deep scar from being on the receiving end of hatred and ignorance, and sometimes, even now, I have to fight back tears. However, as I look back on that situation now, I can see the hand of God. This has not made me bitter.  It has made me better. That situation and others like it have caused me to sing with a deeper conviction, minister with a greater passion, and empathize with the lost, the hurting, and the next generation.

So, what’s your story? No doubt, it is decorated with colorful details or mingled with profound pain. But tell it anyhow.  Tell your children and grandchildren the beautiful and even painful details of your life’s journey. Remind them again and again of how you picked cotton under the heat of the Georgia sun. Tell about the struggles on your job in the factory during the Industrial Revolution and how you left places like Clarksdale, Miss., and ended up in places like Fort Wayne, Ind., on your quest for a better life. Describe the wonderful smells that came from Big Mama’s kitchen, as she stood on her feet for hours to prepare Thanksgiving Dinner, then, how later on that evening, she had to rub her arthritic hands with liniment oil, the smell of which would consume every room in her warm and loving home. Sing the old hymns you learned as a child growing up in church. Talk about your education or the lack of it, the times of plenty and the times when you were left wanting. Then tell how over it all, through it all, above it all, and because of it all, you are still here as a witness to God’s amazing faithfulness. Tell your story, my friend. Because, if you don’t tell your story – it won’t get told.