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Guest blog post by Debora M. Coty

I hope you’ll enjoy this guest blog post by Debora M. Coty, which features an excerpt from her new book, Fear, Faith and a Fistful of Chocolates.

 

Top 10 Fears Women Face

Debora M. Coty

In my travels as a speaker, I’ve encountered countless women like me who have spent years running from their own personal fear monsters.

Some fears have names and specific countenances; others are faceless, frightening creatures that lurk in the shadows just out of sight. But we know they’re there. We feel them. And we yearn to boldly step up to those fear monsters and yank off their masks.

That’s why I wrote Fear, Faith, and a Fistful of Chocolate. It’s time we treat fear like the unwanted gift it is and exchange it at heaven’s customer service desk for something we can really use: power, love, and self-discipline.

In order to pinpoint real fears women struggle with on a daily basis, I conducted a survey of 500 random women between the ages of 18 and 80. I was surprised at the results – I fully expected fear of being alone to rank among the top two or at least three (maybe because it is in my own life), but it was number six! There are five other fears that trouble us gals even more.

Just for fun, take out a pad and pen and see if you can guess what the top ten fears of all the women polled were. Dollars to doughnuts your own personal fear monsters will show up somewhere on that list.

Okay, are you ready to see how good a guesser you are? Here are the top ten fears in descending order:

1.    Loss of a loved one (spouse/children/parents)
2.    Debilitating illness/terminal disease
3.    Failure
4.    Old age/senility
5.    The unknown; the what-ifs
6.    Loneliness
7.    Dependency on others
8.    Rejection
9.    Specific critters (e.g. snakes, roaches, rats)
10.    Being judged unfairly

Other common fears that were mentioned often but didn’t make the top ten were trying new things, purposelessness, depression, the dark, flying, public speaking, and disappointing others.

So how did your personal fears compare with those of your peers?

You know, our fears spotlight what matters to us most … those hidden corners of our life in which we trust Papa God the least.

Girlfriend, those are the hot spots we need to work on. Because fear first worms its way into our thinking processes, then it affects our actions. If we allow fear to continue to wreak havoc in our lives unimpeded, it can eventually erode our self esteem, relationships, and even our faith.

But remember, we can’t embrace change until we let go of fear. And change is a product of that power, love, and self-discipline we talked about earlier. A change from imprisoning phobias, destructive anxiety, and unproductive fretting. A change from worries that keep us stretched tighter than size 8 jeans over a size 12 tushie.

A change that will enable us to boldly step up to our fear monster, grab his beard and as his mask falls away, find that what’s beneath there isn’t really frightening at all.

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Discover more about defeating fear in Debora’s new book, Fear, Faith, and a Fistful of Chocolate.

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May 23, 2013 at 11:46 am Comments (0)

Happy, Happy, Happy – Interview with Phil “Duck Commander” Robertson

Perhaps you’ve tuned in to the popular reality show on A&E, Duck Dynasty, and met the Robertson family before now. However, until my recent interview with Phil Robertson for his new memoir, Happy, Happy, Happy: My Life and Legacy as the Duck Commader, I was unfamiliar with the show, their company Duck Commander, or Phil Robertson himself. After the interview I can say I learned quite a bit. Not only about ducks and duck calls, but about Phil’s spiritual journey from a rebellious and self-destructive young man to a devoted family man, earnest follower of Jesus, and a ground-breaking entrepreneur. His manner surprised me as well. Here’s a man who owns a multi-million dollar company, is the star of a top-rated television show, but his attitude was low-key and unconcerned with his fame. I found Phil honest, disarming, and above all filled with gratitude for “the good life” he is now able to enjoy. One the Robertson clan’s mottos may be “Fear the Beard,” but after talking to Phil, I wasn’t afraid, instead I felt encouraged.

I hope you’ll take a moment to listen to Phil’s interview and check out his story behind the cameras in Happy, Happy, Happy.

Happy, Happy, Happy Interview with Phil Robertson

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May 9, 2013 at 10:46 am Comment (1)

God’s Favorite Place on Earth by Frank Viola

Recently I had the opportunity to talk with Frank Viola about his new release, God’s Favorite Place on Earth. In this newest volume, Viola examines the small town of Bethany from New Testament times. He uses a narrative structure in parts of the book, telling the story from the perspective of Lazarus to show how Jesus’ interactions in this town and with Lazarus’ family in particular were special. Bethany was the only place close to being called Jesus’ home apart from heaven. He received hospitality and friendship there while many other places rejected him. I hope that you’ll take a listen to the interview and check out this moving exploration of this place that was so close to Jesus’ heart.

God’s Favorite Place on Earth Interview with Frank Viola

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May 1, 2013 at 10:33 am Comment (1)

J. Warner Wallace Interview – Cold Case Christianity

For many years, J. Warner Wallace was an atheist and harsh critic of Christianity, but when he re-examined the facts surrounding the life and death of Jesus, he was struck with the truth, and his heart was changed forever. Wallace’s training as a homicide detective in the L.A. County Police Department gives him a unique perspective in looking at the life and claims of Jesus. In his new book Cold Case Christianity, he explores the case for Christianity as he would a crime investigation that had long been unsolved.

One of our web editors recently conducted a written interview with Wallace. The text of which follows:

1. Will you tell us a little about yourself? How did you become a police officer?

I was raised by a police officer but initially studied the arts, earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Design and a Masters in Architecture (UCLA). The muti-generational attraction of Law Enforcement was too strong, however, and I eventually returned to the profession of my father.

 2. How and when did you become a Christian?

I first became curious about Jesus as nothing more than an ancient sage. I bought my first Bible at the age of 35 to find out what Jesus had to say. I was not interested in becoming a Christian. In fact, I was the kind of guy who liked to argue with (and taunt) the Christians I knew. But as I read the gospel accounts, I observed several properties of reliable eyewitness statements based on my experience as a detective. I began to investigate the accounts from a detective’s perspective and eventually came to trust what they described.

 3. What is the primary audience you are trying to reach with Cold-Case Christianity?

I really do think that Cold Case Christianity will be an asset for both Christians, skeptics and seekers who have questions or doubts about the claims of the gospels. I wrote the book from the perspective of a believer who came to faith (at the age of 35) through a process of skeptical examination. For this reason, I think it will resonate with believers and skeptics alike.

4. How can this book help people who already believe in Christ?

Cold Case Christianity will provide readers with the confidence necessary to trust the claims of the gospels,  respond to critical objections, and offer the reasonable and gracious defense commanded by scripture (1 Peter 3:15).

 5. How is Christianity similar to a “cold-case”?

Cold cases are events (murders) from the distant past for which there are often no living eyewitnesses and little, if any, direct or forensic evidence to make the case. Detectives learn how to evaluate and employ circumstantial evidence to demonstrate what happened at the scene of the crime. In a similar way, Christianity makes a claim about an event in the distant past for which there are no living eyewitnesses and little, if any, direct or forensic evidence. The skills I’ve learned as a cold-case detective can be used to examine the life, death and resurrection of Jesus.

 6. In the book you make a clear case that the skills you learned as a police officer actually made the gospels more intriguing to you. How did this take unfold and how did it affect your conclusions about the Gospels’ stories?

As I learned how to evaluate witnesses to determine if they were reliable, I came to understand the four areas that detectives (and eventually jurors) examine when establishing eyewitness reliability. I examined the gospel authors and asked: 1. Did they actually write their accounts early enough to have been present during the ministry of Jesus? 2. Could the claims of the authors be corroborated in any way? 3. Is the testimony of the authors consistent over time (has it been corrupted or changed)? 4. Did the authors have any bias that might cause them to lie about their testimony? As I examined these four important areas, I grew in my confidence that the gospel eyewitnesses were reliable. I share this examination in the second section of Cold Case Christianity.

 7. In the book you give “ten principles” that are important to being a detective. How did these principles guide your search?

Detectives have to learn how to control their presuppositions, evaluate and assemble circumstantial evidence, use “abductive” reasoning, examine eyewitness testimony, investigate the power of words, separate artifacts from evidence, resist conspiracy theories, know when enough is enough and prepare for the objections of the defendant. These skill sets had broad application as I applied similar techniques to my search for truth in the gospels.

 8. In “cold-cases” circumstantial evidence is extremely important. However, it is usually not highly regarded by the public. How does circumstantial evidence impact your study and why is it critical for evaluating Christianity as a “cold-case”?

I’ve investigated many cold cases, and I’ve yet to have one that was assisted by “direct” evidence; all my cases have been entirely circumstantial. The case for Christianity is in many ways a cumulative circumstantial case, and this should not alarm Christians or embolden skeptics. Judges remind jurors that “direct and circumstantial evidence are acceptable types of evidence”, “neither is necessarily more reliable than the other” and “neither is entitled to any greater weight than the other.”

 9. “Cold cases” rest on facts, but some things Christians believe can’t be verified as facts in the same way; DNA evidence can establish a fact. How does this evidential reality impact your book?

None of my cold cases have been proven with DNA or other kind of forensic evidence. There are many ways to “make a case”, especially if eyewitnesses come forward and offer critical testimony. The question then becomes, are the witnesses trustworthy? This is the focus of Cold Case Christianity.

 10. The Gospel witnesses are critical to Christianity’s message. You mention methods of discerning truth and falsehood in the testimony of eye-witnesses. Will you provide an example from the Gospels where your technique comes into play?

When a witness makes a claim, we often look for some way to corroborate his or her statement. Although the claims of the gospel authors are very ancient, we can look for corroboration by examining the relationship between gospel accounts (looking for unintentional eyewitness support), examining their use of regional proper names locations and local governments. We can also compare the descriptions offered by ancient non-Christian sources and we can examine the archaeology of the area. These tools provide us with a way to “fact check” the broad claims and minor details offered by the gospel eyewitnesses.

 11. In conclusion, what do you hope readers take away from your book?

Most of us begin our spiritual journey with a decision; we decide to accept and trust Jesus for our salvation. But the Christian life is more than that. I want people to be equipped to make a second decision; a decision to engage their culture as good Christian case-makers. It’s my hope that Cold-Case Christianity will help believers become “two-decision” Christians, even as it helps true seekers to discover the truth.

 

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February 28, 2013 at 11:10 am Comments (0)

At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver – Day 10

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him. Psalm 37:7

Perhaps you are in a wintry season right now. Perhaps you feel as though everything you’ve cared about has been taken away, and you’ve not found anything to take its place. Perhaps God has called you to lay aside a lifetime of striving so you can experience abiding. But to be honest, the stillness is getting on your nerves.

Winter always seems to take longer than we think it should.

Getting through such times, I’ve learned, is not for the faint of heart. It’s not easy to endure the loss of what we once thought was vital. To shiver in the dark, feeling bereft and confused. To wonder when—or if—this season of dying will ever end in true resurrection.

I understand how you feel. And so does Jesus—more than either of us knows. The One who hung forgotten and forsaken, cut down in the prime of His life and buried deep in the tomb, is so intimately acquainted with our suffering that He alone can remind us what is at stake.

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus told His disciples as they walked toward Jerusalem and His death, “unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (John 12:24).

As strange as it sounds, it is in the dark nights of our souls—in those deathlike, midnight places where nothing seems to be happening—that God often does His best work. Preparing our lives—so barren at the moment—for an even greater outpouring of life.

For winter always precedes spring. And in the law of harvest, death always precedes life. But if we’ll trust the Gardener, a harvest of fruit awaits—“much fruit,” as John 15:5 calls it. Fruit formed out of the life of Christ released in us by our dying.
Lazarus Awakening

Read: Psalm 27:13–14

Reflect: What should characterize our attitude and behavior during difficult times?

Excerpted from At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver. Copyright © 2012 by Joanna Weaver. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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October 12, 2012 at 10:22 am Comments (0)

At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver – Day 9

O Lord, you took up my case; you redeemed my life. Lamentations 3:58

Of all the titles of Jesus, I’ve come to appreciate most that He is my Redeemer. After walking so many years with the Lord, through both good times and bad, I can declare along with Job, “I know that my Redeemer lives” (Job 19:25).

When God interrupted humanity’s downward spiral by sending His own Son, Jesus came into a culture that expected the Messiah to set up a kingdom free from problems, sorrow, and pain. Even His own disciples expected He would topple Rome and set up a new regime complete with corner offices and special perks reserved just for them.

Those looking forward to the Promised One had always believed He would reinvent the world.

Instead, God chose to redeem it.

Which means sin is still present and Satan is still active. Murder and violent wars cover the earth. Sickness ravages bodies and minds and hearts. Too often, the innocent die young. Surely, we think, there has to be a better way.

After all, God could have pushed the reset button long ago, at the beginning of time. He could have taken one look at the mess we humans had made—our rebellion, our hatred, our immorality and idolatry—and decided to delete it all. With one push of a button, God could have rebooted and started over.

Instead, He became a man. On the cross He took the weight of our mistakes. All my failures, all your hurts, all our devastation. And with a final breath He redeemed it all.
Lazarus Awakening

Read: Luke 1:68–75

Reflect: Describe the redemption Jesus came to bring.

Excerpted from At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver. Copyright © 2012 by Joanna Weaver. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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October 11, 2012 at 11:14 am Comments (0)

At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver – Day 8

Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? Luke 24:38

Negative self-talk often slips into my mind before I even have time to think. Satan disguises lies as personal assessment, and he plays and replays the demeaning statements inside my head like a never-ending song:

• “There’s no use starting this project—I’ll never finish it.”
• “I can’t believe I forgot to do that! I’m such a flake.”
• “I’m a domestic nightmare—even the dog won’t eat my cooking.”

Your self-talk tapes may be different from mine, of course. They are shaped by your own experiences and misconceptions about life (with a little help from the enemy of your soul). As a result, they’re beautifully adapted to your specific core issues. That’s why they’re so hard to see—and so hard to change.

But change is possible. That’s the whole point of renewing the mind. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can learn to recognize the lies. We can learn to push stop on the constant playback of these mind tapes, to eject the “if only” videos that replay our failures, and erase the “what if” software that exploits our fears.

Next time you and I are tempted to verbally assault ourselves, let’s choose “the law of kindness” instead (Proverbs 31:26, nkjv). Encouraging ourselves with edifying words that build up rather than negative words that tear down. Choosing to offer ourselves the same grace we’d give to a stranger.
Having a Mary Spirit

Read: 2 Corinthians 10:5

Reflect: What are you to do with thoughts and self-talk that exalt themselves in your mind?

Excerpted from At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver. Copyright © 2012 by Joanna Weaver. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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October 10, 2012 at 9:14 am Comment (1)

At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver – Day 7

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21

Death was not a part of God’s original plan. You and I were made for life—life eternal. An eternity lived in the company of our Maker and each other.

Unfortunately, our great-great-not-so-great-grandparents Adam and Eve decided they wanted more than what God offered. So they bit at the serpent’s bait and attempted to seize control.

Consequently, the Father had to limit their freedom. He banished them from the garden and blocked access to the tree of life (Genesis 3:22–23). As a result, death was given access to beings who had been created to live forever.

Does that sound harsh? Though God’s actions might seem extreme, we must understand the punishment was birthed out of great mercy.

Just think. Without death, the evicted Adam and Eve—not to mention you and I—would be assigned to an eternity of lonely wandering. A 24/7 life of hopeless toil and meaningless monotony. An empty existence bereft of the constant sense of God’s presence Adam and Eve had once enjoyed.

God’s mercy and grace marked our lives here on earth with a finish line. And with sweet irony, our loving Father took the very thing we’d feared the most—the threat of death—and turned it on its head. Transforming tombs into doorways and our endings into new beginnings. Turning hearses into glistening carriages to carry us to a glorious mansion being prepared as we speak—the eternal home for which we were made (2 Corinthians 5:1).

“Where, O death, is your victory?” Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15:55 as he considers our final destination and the vehicle that will get us there. “Where, O death, is your sting?”

Through Jesus Christ, “death has been swallowed up in victory” (verse 54).
Lazarus Awakening

Read: 1 Corinthians 15:51–55

Reflect: How does God’s promise of heaven renew your hope?

Excerpted from At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver. Copyright © 2012 by Joanna Weaver. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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October 9, 2012 at 9:53 am Comment (1)

At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver – Day 6

Do what is right and do not give way to fear. 1 Peter 3:6

Fear makes us do slightly crazy, often inappropriate things. Fear blurts out thoughtless, sometimes hurtful words. Fear babbles. It freaks out. It searches frantically for explanations and solutions. Fear sews together fig leaves to cover our inadequacies and paints bright smiles to hide our tears. It builds makeshift shelters and puts on far too much makeup. It forces us to hide behind facades simply because we don’t know what else to do.

Perhaps that’s why Peter instructs us to spend less time on outward adornment—the building of ornate shelters to house our fragile egos—and to spend more time making our inner lives lovely (1 Peter 3:3–4). To become so secure in who we are in Christ that we have no trouble calling Him “Master” or trusting Him as Lord.

When Bill Gothard mentioned 1 Peter 3:3–6 in a seminar years ago, my ears perked up. What would he say? I had prayed for a quiet and gentle spirit for years.

“A quiet and gentle spirit,” Gothard said, connecting verses 4 and 6, “is a heart free from fear.”

Well, I couldn’t help it! I had to shout “Hallelujah!” right there in the middle of the silent crowd. Everyone looked at me strangely, but I didn’t care. God had done exactly that over the previous year—He had delivered me from fear. It had never occurred to me that the quiet and gentle spirit I had been praying for was really a heart at rest. A mind free from anxiety. But when it finally came together and I saw what God had done—well, when the Holy Spirit changes you in such a deep, elemental way, you’ve just got to shout about it!
Having a Mary Spirit

Read: Psalm 131

Reflect: Which of these verses, if applied, could help you overcome anxiety in your life?

Excerpted from At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver. Copyright © 2012 by Joanna Weaver. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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October 8, 2012 at 10:17 am Comment (1)

At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver – Day 5

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Philippians 4:11

Not all running is fleeing away when it comes to fear. Sometimes we’re the pursuers. For fear makes us doubt God’s love and His ability to provide for us. So we decide to take care of ourselves, running for all we’re worth to chase down our wants and our desires.

If I could only be there, if I could only have that, we think, then I would be happy. Satan dangles our “if onlys” in front of our faces like a carrot in front of an old, worn-out nag. And we respond, galloping after our dreams day and night, only to find, when we get there, that “there” has moved—and happiness and fulfillment remain out of reach.

God’s kingdom is not like that. He doesn’t tempt and tease or ruthlessly hunt us down. Instead, He simply asks us to trust Him, and He provides. “The Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion,” Isaiah 30:18 promises. “Blessed are all who wait for him!”

What a difference. Running from our fears and chasing our dreams bring us nothing but anxiety and frustrated hopes. But waiting on the Lord not only renews our strength (Isaiah 40:31, NKJV); it also brings us everything we need.

It may not happen according to our timetable, but God will come through. In fact, Deuteronomy 28:2 says, “All these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, because you obey the voice of the Lord your God” (NKJV).

Did you catch that? Instead of your pursuing blessings—blessings will pursue you! Now, that’s an amazing promise. For as you choose faith over fear, you’ll experience a holy makeover that not only removes your worry lines but refreshes your heart and meets your needs.

An inner beauty treatment that goes far beyond skin-deep.
Having a Mary Spirit

Read: Psalm 34:4–10

Reflect: List the blessings that result from looking to God for what you need.

Excerpted from At the Feet of Jesus by Joanna Weaver. Copyright © 2012 by Joanna Weaver. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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October 5, 2012 at 8:49 am Comments (0)

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